He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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