I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
