where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
