What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
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