so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
pop tarts are not kleenex
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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