then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize