drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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