This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
