i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
