It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
