We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
