You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Every concussion has its silver lining
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Randomize
