Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
