HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
this will be a night to untag.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
