that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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