This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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