He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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