I feel great
I just peed on a car
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
50% drunk capacity currently
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
