Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize