just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
