redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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