discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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