Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
