Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
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