Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize