How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
