went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
