Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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