just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Randomize
