another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
this hospital has no fireball
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
You did what with his pubic hair?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
