He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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