the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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