guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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