i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
