Where did you get a picture of my penis
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
