you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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