when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
