Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Randomize
