In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
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