I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Randomize
