I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize