Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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