Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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