I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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