well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
