Three words: puerto rican gang bang
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
