its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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