I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
