I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
