Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
