Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I need to calm my uterus...
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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