Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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