I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I have fence marks all over my body
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize