when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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