Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
