therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
