Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Randomize
