Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
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