You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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