bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Randomize
