Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Why are your pants in the freezer?
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