What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
