Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Sorry my hands just texted you
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
