I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
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