i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
