Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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