Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
